You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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