Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
