Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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