Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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