I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
