A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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