Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
