THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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