i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
