I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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