Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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