Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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  (352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9
  Replies (7) Good night (3084) Bad night (720)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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  (816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo
  Replies (25) Good night (802) Bad night (5550)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

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  (256): Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night. http://tfl.nu/gx6d
  Replies (17) Good night (3769) Bad night (1111)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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  (630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7
  Replies (41) Good night (18387) Bad night (1313)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3527) Bad night (1908)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?

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  (317): Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume? http://tfl.nu/reh6
  Replies (9) Good night (3393) Bad night (1015)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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  (682): I plan on gettn treatment center drunk http://tfl.nu/t6du
  Replies (3) Good night (2262) Bad night (1124)
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  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3472) Bad night (775)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.

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  (979): We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing. http://tfl.nu/hvhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2236) Bad night (803)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (1524)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.

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  (512): I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them. http://tfl.nu/phm4
  Replies (21) Good night (514) Bad night (4669)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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  (641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (683)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything

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  (610): I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything http://tfl.nu/3wxq
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (471)
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  (771): View more from

  Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.

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  (771): Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch. http://tfl.nu/xmqw
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (212)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.

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  (785): Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit. http://tfl.nu/mx9p
  Replies (2) Good night (284) Bad night (461)

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