end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.