Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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(650): View more from California

i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.

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(404): View more from Georgia

what's for breakfast?

(678): View more from Georgia

Advil and throwup

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.

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(614): View more from Ohio

bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina

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