Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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  (269): bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile. http://tfl.nu/sd6y
  Replies (2) Good night (1072) Bad night (519)
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  (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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  (925): when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober? http://tfl.nu/qjrt
  Replies (30) Good night (857) Bad night (2014)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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  (559): if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean http://tfl.nu/a5l2
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (894) Bad night (3603)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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  (816): I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science http://tfl.nu/uxxs
  Replies (20) Good night (3612) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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  (513): Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one. http://tfl.nu/i2d2
  Replies (14) Good night (4560) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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  (919): They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible http://tfl.nu/xaoi
  Replies (7) Good night (3960) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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  (774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401
  Replies (16) Good night (2281) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.

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  (906): I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/hho5
  Replies (13) Good night (2527) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all

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  (503): So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all http://tfl.nu/abyi
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.

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  (785): Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles. http://tfl.nu/6y3a
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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  (610): I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real. http://tfl.nu/qhs0
  Replies (8) Good night (552) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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  (817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

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  (262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i
  Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My penis needs a shock collar

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  (309): My penis needs a shock collar http://tfl.nu/qzdc
  Replies (8) Good night (556) Bad night (299)

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