We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize