Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband

(404): View more from Georgia

did it work?

(678): View more from Georgia

nope

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(678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband (404): did it work? (678): nope http://tfl.nu/53k6

Replies (44) Good night (630) Bad night (2013)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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(709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy

Replies (19) Good night (5796) Bad night (576)
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(301): View more from Maryland

i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...

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(301): i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty... http://tfl.nu/gk7p

Replies (23) Good night (4825) Bad night (834)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow. You named your rash.

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(703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6

Replies (22) Good night (786) Bad night (3915)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"

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(815): i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out" http://tfl.nu/k16a

Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (5354)
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(206): View more from Washington

He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.

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(206): He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears. http://tfl.nu/u9sm

Replies (20) Good night (2010) Bad night (3457)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.

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(814): It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble. http://tfl.nu/cvy5

Replies (17) Good night (668) Bad night (4883)
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(248): View more from Michigan

That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.

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(248): That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that. http://tfl.nu/u3z8

Replies (7) Good night (2286) Bad night (1342)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

(289): View more from Ontario

Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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(416): You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony (289): Yeah I know, the people below me already told me http://tfl.nu/uh03

Replies (5) Good night (2783) Bad night (647)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'

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(703): Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention' http://tfl.nu/1dne

Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (579)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Cats found the secret coke stash again

(519): View more from Ontario

They owe us $80.

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(519): Cats found the secret coke stash again (519): They owe us $80. http://tfl.nu/rzq5

Replies (11) Good night (1983) Bad night (1327)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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(412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5

Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (444)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian

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(901): He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian http://tfl.nu/6if3

Replies (2) Good night (1817) Bad night (318)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Be safe. And I hate you.

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(404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo

Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (253)
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(206): View more from Washington

Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars

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(206): Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars http://tfl.nu/0i0u

Replies (0) Good night (475) Bad night (227)

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