Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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