just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize