yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
