the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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