dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I faked an abortion last night.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
