waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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