I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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