On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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