Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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