Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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