You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
