I think my vagina is haunted
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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