you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
