he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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