we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
