my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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