i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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