The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
