she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
