And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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