I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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