Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
420 ftw
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I deserve this hangover.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
