My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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