Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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