I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Me too!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need water and some morals
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
