I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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