When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
