Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
