then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize