my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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