The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
