Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
