you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize