Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
farters have to be the big spoon...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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