I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
