I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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