ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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