I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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