"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm too high and old for this...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
