It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
