Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
