So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
