Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
