just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
