Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
