Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
