He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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