Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
