I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
